Hamsters and Sharks Ahoy!

I had a full food today. My favorite things to do is eating and drinking after all. I went over to Ryans to have a lychee martini and some crab artichoke dip. Then I walked over to Brew Moon and had a half a rack of ribs and some of their micro-brewed blonde ale.

Then I made my old Sunday journey to Duke’s. Duke’s is a beach bar where people descend on during Sunday afternoons to stare at each other in their bathing suits. I asked Shawn what happened to all the good looking people. He told me that they were all in Iraq. There was usually a huge influx of military guys at the bars in Waikiki, so there was never a shortage of young clean cut men until now. I met some nice guys at the bar in the Air Force that kept me well supplied with beer. They were a hoot.

Later I had dinner with friends at the Yardhouse, which serves around 100 different beers. My friend Randy came out with his little brother who was a freshman in college and his 2 friends. Randy and I have been friends for 8 years. He has taught me so much in life. I think of him fondly as my big overachieving brother. He’s been a rock in my stormy life over the years and I would give my life for him. My alcoholic friend, Shawn, had already had beers from half of the list. By now I was drunk and honest. Shawn’s friend had invited a buddy of her squeeze of the month out with us. He apparently was on a date and had to be the most obnoxious person I had met (that night) and I told him so. Since I was on a roll with bad behavior, I also told his date that she could do better. I have a bad habit of telling people exactly what I think when I’ve been drinking. I am surprised that it hasn’t gotten me into more trouble than it has. I staggered back to my room very proud of myself.

The next morning my friend Randy released his brother and his two friends to Shawn and I for a shark tour. We drove down to the North Shore in Shawn’s old Firebird convertible. With the 5 of us in the car, it bottomed the poor vehicle out the entire way. We arrived at North Shore in one piece (5 pieces rather) and hopped on the last boat out. The shark tour consisted of 3 people at a time in a shark cage. The boat guys would throw chunks of chum out into the water and viola! sharks cometh. We all put on snorkel gear and watched as the sharks went into a feeding frenzy as the waters kicked our asses. The chum would float onto the cage and I managed to throw it outside because I was horrified by the thought of sharks banging into the cage trying to get to the food. We had an Australian couple join our tour and the female was sea sick immediately. The poor thing threw up beside me the whole trip back to shore. I felt a little sick myself because all of us were covered in chum.

That night we had dinner with Randy and his boys, Shawn, and our friend Sara. On the way to the restaurant Randy’s brother mentioned that his hamster had died. Apparently, it passed on while Randy was home for Christmas and he had no idea.. I teased Randy about pulling a Richard Gere and killing the hamster (why did poor Richard Gere get pinned with that urban legend I have no idea) and Randy told me I was the most disgusting person he knew. When we went to dinner I was laughing so hard about the hamster story all I could get out to Shawn was “dead hamster” and “Randy” and Shawn busted out laughing. We were laughing so hard I could barely breathe for at least 15 minutes. Randy told Shawn that he was the second most disgusting person he knew and it was probably the reason why Shawn and I were so close. He may be right. There are a few people in this world that I can sit around and laugh about absolutely nothing. The first is course, Shawn, then my cubicle neighbor and friend, Amy, and my Australian friend Brett. They all have the most insane, hilarious things that only I and they get. Even when we regale the stories to others, what some people find amusing- we find so funny our stomachs hurt and we giggle and laugh until we pee our pants.